The Grand Man – Chapter Two

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The Before the Beginning

By JC Collins

Thoth, the god of learning in the Egyptian Mysteries, considered the pineal gland to be the source of twenty-six thousand books.  In the first chapter of this series, we reviewed how the brain is an embryo attempting to become.  The pineal gland is the center of this embryo and represents the only singular part of the human brain, which is found in the center between both halves.

The alchemical mystery of regeneration, or becoming, is deeply connected with the pineal gland.  The regeneration of man, or the becoming of the grand man, is dependent upon the process of accessing this gland and extracting the nectar of both the visible and invisible worlds of nature.  The reconciliation of both is a function of the pineal gland, the place where spirit and matter meet, and represents the alchemical process of turning base metals into gold.

The esoteric function of the pineal gland is not recognized or acknowledged by modern medicine and science.  But some interesting characteristics of the pine cone shaped gland can provide the abstract thinker with an extraordinary understanding of its deeper function.

Just after the forty-seventh day of fetal development, the pineal gland begins to form.  This formation is accompanied by the first dump of DMT, or N,N-Dimethyltryptamine, the active chemical in shamanic plant brews, such as Ayahuasca.

Corresponding to the early development of the pineal gland, the first signs of sexual generation begin and male/female physical orientation is also decided immediately after the forty-seventh day.  The connections between DMT, the pineal gland, and gender, are directly and esoterically anchored to the release of DMT during sexual orgasm.  In fact, the word penis is likely derived from the word pineal, meaning pine cone-shaped, like the shape of the tip of the male sex organ.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead (the word dead referencing the world of matter and make-believe), states that it takes forty-nine days for the “dead” to reincarnate back into the physical world.  This forty-nine day period corresponds to the first signs of the pineal gland in the fetus and the initial dump of DMT.

Readers are encouraged to revisit The Grand Man – Chapter One, where the 47th Proposition of Euclid is discussed.

The occult and eastern religions consider the pineal gland to be the symbolic third eye and seat of the soul or the place where spirit and matter meet.  In Judaism, the pineal gland is in the location of the Keter (Crown Sefirah), and in Ayurveda, the gland represents Sahasrara (Crown Chakra).

The objective and subjective consciousness, both represented within the esoteric function of the pineal gland, has been interpreted through art, architecture, and symbolism.  As an example, the Vatican contains a large statue of a pine cone, whose presence has never been fully explained by the Church.

Thyrsus, the sceptre of the Greek Mysteries, was a staff with a pine cone placed on top.  The shaft was dressed in grapes with leaves twisted around the length.  This symbolically represents the spinal cord and pineal gland.

Heaven, Shangri-La, Valhalla, and all other representative forms of enlightenment, are symbolic of the pineal gland and its function as the place where spirit and matter weave together.

The Led Zeppelin song Stairway to Heaven is a ballad on the process of accessing the full function of the pineal gland and attaining enlightenment.  The Masonic degrees of the Scottish Rite, numbering 33 (the same number of vertebra in the human spine) uses esoteric terminology and abstract concepts to relay the alchemical journey from base metal, the base human-animal form, to gold, the enlightened esoteric form.

It is this esoteric human form, or the uncorrupted physical immortal body, which we will consider to represent the principles of the grand man.

After the initial formation of the inner eye and dump of DMT just after the forty-seventh day of fetal development, there is a blissful period of time which is equated to the mystical and magical moments of early childhood.

Unfortunately, the pineal gland begins to degenerate by the age of 6 or 7, and by the age of 12, just before puberty, the gland has attained its adult size and functionality.  This process explains the forgotten years of early childhood and the loss of those magical feelings.

Many ancient religious texts, including the western Bible and eastern Tibetan Book of the Dead, relay the importance of being like children or acting like children, never to grow old.  There is an important concept being communicated within such texts.

The mysteries of regeneration, or development of the embryo, being the evolution of the grand man, is the ongoing function of the pineal gland in the adult human.  As such, the fact that sunlight stimulates the pineal gland draws into the question the widespread use of sunglasses and the corresponding marketing and medical literature which promote the negative effects of sunlight upon the human form.

The pineal gland can be considered the inner eye which has no physical lens.

Many reptiles, including dinosaurs, have, or had, a pineal gland that projected through a hole in the skull and lay just under the skin.  The human third eye has boned over and has shrunk into what is now the pineal gland.

The first appearance of the pineal gland in the material world was found within the invertebrates, a sort of invertebrate eye with no lens, which observed the early moments of creation.  The objective and subjective nature of this primordial world has transcended to the present human generations and is symbolically rediscovered through the enlightenment journey of retracing the backbone and returning to the pineal gland, the subjective eye.

The third eye represents the mysterious two-faced Janus, the hermaphroditical invisible nature of subconsciousness and the visible nature of consciousness.  The visible is the material, and the invisible is the spirit.  The pineal gland represents the place where the spirit and matter weave together. This esoteric awareness corrupts into the world of matter and make-believe.  Man unknowingly promotes this corruption throughout the physical world and within his visible nature.  (As can be attested by the growing media obsession with transgenderism.)

The grand man represents the uncorrupted unification of the male and female into the esoteric hermaphrodite.  This is the merging, or healing, of our first division which took place just after the forty-seventh day of fetal development.  Without the balance which is found within the pineal gland, and described by the ancient mysteries, this process corrupts in the physical world and Man is unable to rediscover the way or path to enlightenment.

The corrupted Man, in attempts to circumvent the process, or cheat the spirit, has dreamed of endless ways to find the path of least resistance to regeneration. This has included the consumption of pineal glands from newborn babies in ancient cultures and all other manners of sacrifice and self-degeneration.

This continued corruption of the process is taking shape in the world of tomorrow through the science of transhumanism. Let it be known that there is only one path to true regeneration, and any attempts at immortality without a balance of spirit and matter will prevent both from further evolution, and trap consciousness forever in the torments of the world of matter and make-believe.

The DMT which is produced by the pineal gland is also found throughout nature, in everything from animals to plants.  It is often wondered if the shorter list would be defined by where DMT is not found, as opposed to where it is found.  It is often referred to as the “spirit molecule” and, as stated above, has been used by shamans for thousands of years, perhaps longer, to produce spiritual journey’s and promote enlightenment.

Recent studies with DMT have suggested that the molecule is supportive of not just spiritual healing and enlightenment, but also physical healing from addictions, such as alcoholism and heroin, and other ailments, like diabetes and cancer.

One of the most recognized methods of consuming non-endogenous DMT (DMT which is found outside of the pineal gland) is through the Ayahuasca plant brew which is made and administered by the shamans of Peru.

Every year hundreds, perhaps thousands, travel to Peru seeking spiritual and physical healing.  The effects of the plant and DMT are profound and not comparable to anything else.  The hallucinogenic qualities of DMT are of a healing nature and the deep impact it has on the person’s spirit extends well past the initial experience and into the days, weeks, and years after.

The first time I heard about such a thing as DMT was in an OMNI magazine when I was a teenager.  The idea that such plants may have been directly involved in the rise of creativity and the imagination in humans, which the article promoted, caught me and has held me ever since.

Over the years I would often think about the concept of the spirit molecule and the healing properties which it was purported to have.  As I struggled through my own life and built walls which were not square, the need for such a thing as DMT, or Ayahuasca, became more apparent.

Recently I decided to finally take the next step in the journey and brew some Ayahuasca of my own.  The process of mixing the correct amounts of plants (root bark and seeds), was followed by the patience required to brew the mixture for three days.

When the time came to drink the brew I asked my wife Marianne to watch over me to ensure everything went satisfactorily outside the inner experience. The taste was metallic and awful.  After finishing 150ml of the Ayahuasca we went to the bedroom and I lay on the bed with some soft spa type music playing in the background.

We had a bucket handy in case nausea became overwhelming.  Many experience a “purge” of the negativity and pain which has afflicted them in their life.

It was 4:15 PM.

At 4:45 PM I was feeling very little and decided to drink the remaining 100ml of the brew, making for a total Ayahuasca consumption of 250ml.  At 5:00PM I began to feel extremely heavy and light headed.  It felt like my mid-section was being pulled down into the mattress.

Within minutes the experience started to evolve and small translucent geometric patterns began to appear in my vision.  These patterns were not unlike the geometric patterns that I use to see as a young child.  Which was extremely supportive of the production of endogenous DMT by the pineal gland in the first 6 to 7 years of childhood.

The geometric patterns grew in size and clarity.  They were superimposed over the physical reality of the room and remained just as clear whether my eyes were open or closed.  It was beautiful and peaceful.

The lower half of my face felt like it was melting away and drooping onto my chest.  I made a joke to Marianne that I would collect my face in my cleavage so I could put it back into place after.  She laughed and it felt like a completely reasonable thing to say.

When it became 5:15 PM the thought that I had drunk way too much of the brew entered my mind.  The panic started to rise in me and I felt nauseated.  Sliding off the side of the bed I walked slowly to the bathroom while carrying the bucket on my head.  Turning I looked in the mirror and stared at myself.  My mind was slowly disassociating with my body and the experience of watching myself in the mirror became extremely unsettling.  It was almost as if my body was moving separately from what I was intending.

Quickly moving back to the bed I repositioned myself and began to refocus.  The fear of drinking too much was overwhelming me but I didn’t want to tell Marianne in case she became worried.

At one point I raised my arms up in front of me and asked her if they were, in fact, my arms.  She laughed and I laughed.

The room was filled with geometric white light and feelings of love and tranquility washed over me.  The soft music reverberated through both realities and soothed the fear in my heart.  I held my hand in front of my face and the light reflected off my wedding ring.

Suddenly my hand was the hand I had as a baby.  The power of the emotion teared me open from the inside out, and I began to cry.  Attempting to explain to Marianne what was happening, I could hear myself talking, but it didn’t quite sound like me.  It was me, but a peaceful me.  A calm tranquil me.

All the lines were there in the beginning,” I said.

What do you mean,” she asked?

All the lines on my hand were there in the beginning when I was born.  The same lines are there now, only they carry the pain of all the years’ in-between.”

I gasped and the pain of all those years welled up from deep within and rolled down the sides of my face.  It was one of the most profound experiences I’ve ever had.  One minute it was my baby hand, and the next it was the scarred hand I have today.  I watched as they switched with one another and the pain began to merge with the innocence and grace of my beginning.

The emotion my mother felt when she first held me after birth washed through me.  I did not see this but experienced it.  It was love.  Unconquerable and unconditional love.

My hand…….my god……..the pain……the love…………..the beginning.

My whole existence imploded on waves of geometric light.  A calmness overtook me and I could hear myself telling Marianne things.  My voice was low, steady, slow, and each word was spoken with purposeful intent.  Every syllable served a purpose.  It was me talking and yet it wasn’t.  I had the distinct impression that I had merged and was speaking in unison with something.

Perhaps there was no longer a “me”, or an “I”.  There were just the words.  The message.

“The Whole seeks the experience of itself.  Each of us are fragments of the Whole.  Each of us are meant to provide the experience of creation back to the Whole.  But we have come to believe…that…we…are the fragment, and we experience ourselves as fragments.”

“This experience as the fragment is a corruption of what was intended.  We corrupt…into…the…world of matter and make-believe.  We think we are the fragment when in fact we are the whole.  We seek to return to the whole, but have trapped ourselves…in…the…world of matter and make-believe.”

“The experience becomes corrupted.  We experience the world through ourselves.  This is greed and selfishness.  We need to experience…each…other…first and then experience the world.  Only then can we experience our pure selves as a part of the world…as…a…part…of…the…Whole.”

“We have it wrong.  It only takes a slight shift in our perception and how we perceive reality.”

“The world is not there for us to experience ourselves.  It is there so we can experience each…other…and…the world.  That is how we get to experience our pure selves.  The fragment which isn’t a fragment.  The Whole.”

Talking to Marianne as a couple, I said “We experience…each…other and then experience the world together.  Only then can we experience our pure selves.”

This sort of talk went on for some time.  The message was repeated over and over.

The Whole…is…the…Before…the…Beginning.  The world of matter and make-believe is made of fragments.  Everything is a fragment.  The natural world and everything are fragments attempting to join back together with the Whole…..….the…Before…the…Beginning.”




“Spirit and matter are attempting to evolve together, but the world…of…matter…and…make…believe is preventing this from happening. Spirit…and…matter…are…attempting to evolve together in able to return to the Whole.”

This went on for hours as I lay there saying the same things over and over in the same slow and tranquil voice.  Marianne said she had never seen my face so peaceful and happy.

As my sense of self-began to slowly return I began to say things directly to Marianne like they were messages from the Whole.

I make it safe for you to smile…even…when…I’m…not.”

I also kept repeating this to her and explained how it was very important that she remember it.  I saw her as a child and kept calling her a little rascal.  I said her smile was “the Whole smiling”.  Her smile was “like The Before the Beginning”.

She has been sick for two years now with chronic pain.  Nobody has been able to figure out what is wrong with her.  I said, “Your pain is my ugliness.”

What this meant is not clear, but we have committed to exploring further in our attempts to learn and heal whatever there is that needs to be healed.

To describe every facet of the experience would be impossible.  It was around 8:30 PM that I began to feel somewhat myself again.  Near the end of the experience, I saw a cross and crucifixion.  The receding voice in my mind said: “This is the Christ, or enlightenment, and represents the graceful submission to humanity.”

For the next few hours, I had a difficult time walking.  It was as if I had to learn how to walk again in the physical world.   The feelings of openness and enlightenment stayed with me for the next two days.  I could almost feel my pineal gland pulsating with renewed vigor inside my skull.

The following statement kept repeating in my mind:

Spirit and matter are attempting to evolve together, but the world…of…matter…and…make…believe is preventing this from happening.”

The geometric patterns which I saw as a child were at the forefront of my mind.  The idea that the pineal gland is an important part of developing the brain embryo now seemed obvious.  The reflections on childhood and becoming, or regeneration, were directly connected with the pineal gland and how we interact with the physical world.

But the prevalent corruption of this process in the physical world was also painfully obvious.

Regeneration, the brain embryo, and the becoming of the Grand Man represents the process of spirit and matter evolving together.  The world of matter and make-believe is only the first experience of unification.

Most of us fail here, as we choose to experience ourselves primarily.

The synchronicity and interconnectedness which has weaved itself into my life are becoming more and more obvious with each passing year.  I think back on what I had written in PrimNomics – The First Division, and how it related to fragments and a return to the whole, or the absolute, from which all things are derived.

We are the great explorers of ourselves.  And The Before the Beginning awaits our return as we journey back up the fragmented vertebrate of the spinal column and seek the uncorrupted unification which can only be found at the place where spirit and matter meet.  – JC

Note:  For readers interested in the picture which accompanies this post, it is a slice through the center of a dying primordial star, one of the first in the Universe.  The mass of this sun is 55,000 times that of our sun.  The image has an uncanny resemblance to the human brain. All things in the world of matter and make-believe are fragments.  Even stars. I’ll leave further esoteric interpretations up to the reader. More info can be found here.