Spiritual Chess and the Law of Lives

JcollinsEsoteric, FREEPOM6 Comments

JC Collins

I have been both privileged and destitute, but never in the same life.

Stumbling for the fourth time I collapsed in the snow.  Bare hands no longer felt the cold and drunken legs had nothing left to give. Rolling onto my back I looked through the binged blur of foolish eyes and saw the stars blinking back.  What did they think of this boy? This lost wanderer in the winter wastelands of forgotten light.  Their small points teased me with all the things I had yet to remember. 

Wind bit at my face and crawled inside my jacket.  This snow-covered field was going to be the forever place which embraced the remains I left behind.  Did I love at that moment?  Was I loved? The passing of love through our tight embrace hollowed my insides and I knew that I was about to leave love back where it found me in a world of living deaths.  I was scared and didn’t want to be left here alone with the suffocating snow.  

There was a time when I died and kept living.  There was a time when I lived but kept dying. 

The Aurora Borealis danced above me like some solemn ceremony.  The lids of my eyes were almost frozen shut. Something nudged me. Nudged me again. Turning my head I saw a beautiful husky with glacier blue eyes.  Licking my face he nudged me once more. 

GET UP” he screamed at me.  GET UP you drunk selfish son-of-a-bitch. I love you and so do your sons.

Sons?  How did I have sons?  I was still just a boy myself.  What was happening here? 

The husky forced me over onto my side and barked.  The cold in my hands came back and the pain shot up my arms and into my lungs.  I gasped for breath and almost choked on ice crystals in the air.  

Lifting myself to my knees I stared at the dog.  I knew him.  Those eyes.  That spirit.  But I couldn’t remember exactly from where.  We had starved together at one point maybe.  

The husky ran ten feet out in front of me, looked back, and barked again.  Getting to my feet I stumbled towards him.  Towards my old friend. One step in front of another.  Through the deep snow. Always following the path the dog was creating in front of me. I was so cold.

The game of Chess came to my mind.  I loved playing Chess.  The battle of light against dark.  It was the battle which takes place inside each of us.  Parts of our character are chess pieces and we use those characteristics to strategize our lives and allow one side or the other to win.

But its bigger than that.  Each life is a chess piece on a much bigger board.  The edges of this board do not start with each birth and end with each death.  The edges of this board exist outside of individual lives and expand across the fullness of the spirit which is fighting the larger fight between light and darkness.

This spiritual board is our spirit.  The chess pieces on this board are the separate lives or manifestations of our spirit into the material world.  Some lives have more important responsibilities towards winning the battle between light and darkness.  Some lives are pawns while others are kings and queens.

I have been both privileged and destitute, but never in the same life.

Can you see?  Do you feel the great expansive board of existence which you have been a part of for so long?  Look past the moments of entering and exiting each life.  Look past the moments of birth and death.  See the board and all the lives moving upon its surface.  Light waging war against the dark, and dark waging war against the light.  Where are you in all of this?  You, the weary traveler upon the endless journey outside of the constraints of time.  I love you for the hardships you have suffered.

Am I still me?

All I knew is I wanted to go home but I didn’t know where I was.  The husky kept leading me further into the warmth of the light.  But it was still dark.

Street lights came into view.  Almost there.  A sidewalk covered in light snow. 

Things looked familiar.  Houses.  Cars.  Street signs. The old house on the corner.  How was I still alive?  How was I still stumbling forward into the darkness?

The dog was further ahead now.  The sound of his bark echoed off the stars above me and the cold around me.  Where was he?  There.  Upon the step of that house.  It was my home.  

Falling at the end of the walkway I forced my hands into the snow and crawled the rest of the way.  There were four steps which I pulled myself over and onto the top porch.  My head banged into the front door of the house as it opened and I fell inward and onto the floor inside. 

Someone was there.  The warmth hit me like a furnace.  Sitting up I leaned against the door frame and stared back at the husky.  How did he know where I lived?  He didn’t follow me.  I followed him.  How did he know?  Tears streamed down my face and I sobbed into the emotional oblivion I had created for myself.  

There was a time when I died and kept living.  There was a time when I lived but kept dying. 

The dog blinked, turned and ran off into the endless dark of that cold night.  Someone closed the front door and I fell onto my hands and knees.  Globs of snot hung from my face as tears pooled onto the floor.  What had I done?  What had just happened?  What am I in this life?  A pawn?  A rook?  A knight?  Perhaps a king?  Do I have a choice? 

Then it occurred to me.

I have been destitute because I have been unable to love myself, but I have been privileged because others have loved me when I have failed to love myself. Do I love my spirit?  That is where it begins.  Do you see?  - JC 

JC Collins can be contacted at jcollins@philosophyofmetrics.com

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6 Comments on “Spiritual Chess and the Law of Lives”

  1. This made me wince & smile brother. I have experienced -40C for weeks while living in Montreal and Ottawa. I also have some amazing tales of our dearly departed husky hybrid Waldo who left us 1 year ago at the age of 17. Long story so I'll save it for when we meet for real next time you're on VanIsle but on more than one occasion he guided us to safety when our unmapped hikes led us astray. He is dearly missed 🙂

  2. Yes, I see my friend. Through saddened eyes of joy. Thank you for this heartfelt story. Still determining what piece to be but the choice is coming, I feel it.

    1. Definitely looking into a back row piece. The rook is strong and direct but riged. The bishop is interesting working with the angles but just as rigid as the rook. The knight...ah now there is a nice piece. Hard to predict moving in right turns attacking from the side. Wielding armor of righteousness, a shield of faith, a sword of the word and a helmet of salvation. A truly fulfilling piece for sure. But the queen...hmm, such elegance and freedom of movement. Able to cover vast spaces in just one move. I wonder is she misses anything moving about with such speed? Then we are left with the king. Slow moving but free to move in any direction. Seems pretty boring and weak on the surface. But upon deeper observation a king usually has to work through knighthood before becoming king so he surely possesses all the qualities of a knight. Perhaps his movements are slower because they are more calculated and careful. He has an entire kingdom to consider after all so that would make sense. He doesn't move for himself but for the entire kingdom due to being in service of the kingdom. This piece is the highest piece on the board and to capture it captures and entire kingdom. The king is surely armed with virtue being in service to his kingdom which is given to him by his father and mother. Yeah this is the piece for a grand man who has conquered the crown beast within to become king of his own kingdom and the piece to rule all other pieces. Perhaps we need to experience the other pieces in order to rise into this piece. The king.

  3. I was really imagining and picturing all this and absolutely like a movie complete with a background music I could hear and the words of a narrator, reading the short story. I even felt the cold and the chill you described and somehow felt the emotional state. I've there is a similar emotional situation some years ago...

    Absolutely stunning piece! Thank you JC.

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